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Brenda’s Blog

— Life —

Le Mythe Dior
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Dear Friends,

I have often thought about writing you but after months of self-imposed Covid lockdown, followed by George Floyd’s senseless and tragic murder and the upheaval in our nation, I hit a bit of a brick wall. The memoir I’m writing revisits a dark period in my life, and for a time, it became difficult for me to write or even think about blogging. I needed to find a way to change that, so in addition to beginning each day with a prayer and taking care of the plants in my courtyard, I put my writing aside and started mainlining lighthearted feelgood films, documentaries and YouTube videos. They were my cinematic macaroni and cheese.

Like a young child, I would plop myself down in front of the television and watch the same beloved films over and over again.

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— Life —

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Other than a masked visit to Whole Foods during senior hour and the drive through at the pharmacy, my post Covid schedule revolves around working out, writing a memoir and keeping Annie entertained, or maybe it’s the other way around. Annie is keeping me entertained. 

Each time I take Annie for a walk, I feel like I’m putting my ever-thinning bones at risk. 

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— Life —

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The other night I watched the classic 1959, film, The Diary of Anne Frank, the true story of seven people who went into hiding for two and a half years, hoping to save themselves from the Nazi concentration camps during World War II. They lived in a tiny space, on top of one another, and were forced to be silent for nine hours a day. The film had a number of takeaways applicable to the current Corona Virus crisis, but for me, the most important one is the need to get ourselves into a survivorship mentality. I’ve found myself there more times than I’d like to count.

While we can’t change the circumstances in which we find ourselves, we can change how we look at, and deal with, them.

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— Life —

From Disney's Alice in Wonderland
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Like Alice in Wonderland I’ve slipped down the rabbit hole. Unlike Alice’s world where, “Cats and rabbits would reside in fancy little houses and be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers,” my world has been filled with “men in suits, driving four door sedans who emptied the contents of our garbage can into the trunk of their car.” 

This is my world, the rabbit hole in the memoir I’m writing. 

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— Life —

Photographs by Jennifer Denton, taken at Bohanan's, San Antonio.
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Not long ago I watched the film Rumor Has It with Kevin Costner and Jennifer Aniston. Aniston’s character was lamenting the fact that her life was “a little nuts” to which Costner’s character said, “Life should be a little nuts. Otherwise it’s just a bunch of Thursdays strung together.” I love that line! If everything in life was accompanied by a smooth path, with no ups and downs, how would we know if we could survive when life hands us down days, months or even years? And on the flip side of the same coin, how could we fully appreciate the good days?

If a life without worry sounds perfect, might I suggest that after a while, even paradise might seem like a bunch of Thursdays, devoid of those moments that make us who we are?

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— Life —

Lionel Richie & Brenda Coffee. Photograph courtesy of Lionel Richie, 2019.
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Dear Friends, This will be my last regular blog post for a while because I’m stepping away to work on my memoir. Writing a blog and a memoir requires different writing muscles and voices, and I can’t do both at the same time. This hasn’t been an easy decision. In fact I’ve put it off for several months, but the time has come. 

Did you know you are the ones who’ve encouraged me to write my story?

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— Life —

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My friend, Pat, uses the term “elderly” when referring to the current state of our high school graduating class. It makes me want to strap him to a walker with nonskid rubber tips and send him flying off of a skateboard ramp. I don’t mind the term “over 65.” I can handle the word “senior” and I will admit to my age, 70, but I’m not keen on telling anyone I’ve had cataract surgery. For the most part, it’s old people who have cataract surgery, and I don’t see myself as old… certainly not elderly… plus cataracts are one of those age-related things that go along with having kidney stones, your gallbladder removed and needing a hearing aid.

What’s that you say? Tuesday?

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— Style —

David Dangle at home in Pennsylvania. Photograph courtesy of David Dangle
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For those of you who shop QVC you probably already know David Dangle, CEO of Joan Rivers Worldwide. You may also know Gus, his whip smart, Smooth Fox Terrier, but did you know David Dangle had already made a name for himself before he and Joan started their phenomenally successful brand or that they pioneered television home shopping? For years David Dangle and I have talked (behind the scenes) on Instagram. 

His legions of fans will be glad to know in-person, he’s the same great guy you see on television.

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— Relationships —

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Yesterday I called a friend whose husband died two months ago after years of numerous and serious medical problems. When I asked how she was doing, she said, “I’m going to be candid with you. I’m relieved.” I understood, all too well, what she meant. I also wondered if there are those who might judge her and find her truthful admission to be shocking and inappropriate? If so perhaps it’s because they haven’t been there… or maybe they’re not allowing themselves to be honest. 

It doesn’t mean we don’t love and miss them. Just that we’re relieved… for both of us… that it is over.

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— Life —

PHOTOGRAPH BY BRENDA COFFEE ©2019
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October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Incase the universe thought it might have slipped my mind that 15 years ago I was diagnosed with this terrible disease, since then five of my girlfriends have been diagnosed with breast cancer as well. I understand their fears. I know how hard it is to think about anything other than cancer because we’re wondering if we’ll be here this time next year or five years from now. 

I also know when treatment is over, it’s sometimes difficult to get on with the business of living. 

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