I love lemons, but not long ago I squeezed one so hard it ripped the inside of my thumb. How did I not know you’re supposed to roll tough lemons before cutting and squeezing them? While recuperating from surgery I reflected on the various accidents I’ve had over the years.
I was surprised at how many could be attributed to rushing, including this one.
This time I’d run back to the house to put some lemon in my water while my husband waited, patiently, for me in the car.
My 60th birthday is 16 days away. Big birthdays never bothered me because it always seemed there was plenty of time to visit all the places I’ve always wanted and do the things I’ve dreamed of doing. This year, however, a nagging feeling that time is running out keeps sneaking up on me. An imaginary clock is ticking in my head, reminding me of all the time I’ve waisted. The accident to my thumb is one of those waisted times. Fortunately common sense kicked in and reminded me that when I rush, things don’t end well.
People often ask me how I stay so positive after all the trauma and loss in my life? After being diagnosed with PTSD and depression, I had no choice but to come up with a plan to manage the thoughts and fears that can quickly have me spiraling into darkness. “Managing” is the key word. At the first sign of a negative thought, I must react and replace it with five positive thoughts. Also exercise or taking a drive with some pretty scenery helps. If that doesn’t work I treat myself to something, and let’s face it… Chocolate is always good! Sometimes managing my thoughts are easy, but not with my injured hand.
Once I stopped feeling sorry for myself–because I’m running out of time–I was able to see how blessed I was. I had a surgeon who fixed my hand, perfectly. My grandson made tea and took notes for me, and my husband always made sure I was comfortable and felt loved.
I’ve decided there won’t be anymore rushing or feeling like I’m waisting time. Instead I’ll use my time to take a breath and care for myself and to realize taking time to listen to, and appreciate, those who’re there for us when we need them is time well spent.
2 Comments
I’m glad you had that ah-ha moment, because when we’re in the midst of a storm, they don’t occur easily. Even though you struggle with depression and PTSD, you inspire me with all you’ve done for other people, for standing up for what you believe in and for continuing to put one foot in front of the other. You are loved and appreciated, Doreen. xoxox, Brenda
Thank you so much Brenda, You inspire me as well!