Sometimes I’ll rewatch a film I’ve matured into like Alan J. Pakula’s 1971, dark thriller, Klute. It’s not that it was beyond my comprehension when I saw it the first time in the theater. But having seen it again, recently, I better understand the motivation of prostitute, Bree Daniels, and Jane Fonda’s Academy Award-winning portrayal of her.
Bree was light years ahead of me when it came to understanding men.
Six months ago I wrote, “Don’t hold me to this, but I’m thinking about signing up with one of those online dating sites.” Fast forward and I’ve been online for only two weeks, and I’m ready to log off. One of Oprah‘s favorite sayings is, “A person will tell you who they are if you just listen.” When it comes to online dating, who they are starts with their name.
Like… Butthole, Player, SorryDude, Pacemaker, HorseRaceBetter, BedBug, WildTrash, YourLoveSlave and MyScorpiosRising… Seriously?
It’s well-documented that women with body image issues frequently struggle in their intimate relationships. Until now, I’ve never discussed this subject, even with my closest friends, yet I am one of these women. So with Valentines upon us – and a plethora of red, lacy underwear on display in every lingerie shop – now feels like a good time to raise the subject here. Continue Reading
Daily I receive dozens of notices that women are repinning the same photo from 1010ParkPlace’s Pinterest page, “We’re Grownup… Not Dead!” There are lots of sexy photographs and great looking men on that page, so what is it about the one called, “Kiss me.. like you really mean it?” Why does is strike a chord with women of all ages?
Is it the gentle strength of his hands, or anticipating the moment of surrender?
The main cause of erectile disfunction (ED) is lack of blood flow to the penis. Whether it’s not enough blood into the penis, or too much blood leaving the penis, either can be problematic in achieving and sustaining an erection. Perhaps more problematic is the injury to the male ego, although most men report having had problems getting and/or sustaining an erection.
According to Dr David Cozzolino, a urologist with Christiana Health System and Brandywine Urology Consultants, the healthier a man is, the healthier his sexual function. While heart disease and lack of exercise should be considered when trying to diagnose problems with erectile disfunction, a number of other factors should be considered when trying to determine cause and effect.
- Blood Pressure & Cholesterol Medication
Before taking any erectile dysfunction medication, a man should check with his family doctor to make sure there is not an underlying health problem and/or a urologist, specially trained to treat ED.
Lack of sexual desire and/or orgasm in women can be more complicated than lack of erection in men. While men are genetically geared to be ready for action at a moment’s notice, women’s libido and ability to achieve orgasm are more closely linked to her emotional frame of mind.
Since it’s not uncommon for women to experience problems with desire as young as age 35, it’s important to be honest with your doctor, and yourself, and to think about any possible contributing factors such as:
- Inadequate Foreplay
- Drop in Hormones
- Underactive Thyroid
- Vaginal Dryness and/or Painful Intercourse
Sometimes we need to make time for self-care and make time for sex, whether it’s solo, or with our partner. As we age, what stimulates us mentally and physically can change. If you haven’t taken the time to “reassess your needs,” perhaps you should schedule some sexy time when you’re home, alone. If you don’t know what you want and need, you can’t direct your partner.
There are several things we should have learned by now, like how to make ourselves a priority; how to let go of things that no longer work for us, and how to ask for what we want. Prioritizing our sexual pleasure should be at the top of the list of things we do for ourselves.
The summer of ’66 was a good one. My parents let me buy a lemon yellow bikini. My best friend’s brother was required to take us along to the beach, and even though we had to sit in the back seat and weren’t allowed to sing along to radio, we were in heaven.
One tiny pocket of discomfort that year came via my grandmother. She was vacationing in Rome, without my grandfather, who had opted to stay home and run the family business.
Recently 1010ParkPlace profiled Kathy Gutierrez, owner of The Secret Garden boutique in Fredericksburg, Texas. Kathy and I met in 2005, when we were both going through treatment for breast cancer. From the get-go, it was apparent we were cut from a similar mold: Women determined to survive whatever life puts in our path. Here’s part of our conversation that didn’t make it into Kathy’s STYLE INSPIRATION profile:
AT WHAT POINT IN THE RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SAY, I HAVE VAGINAL DRYNESS, BUT I CAN STILL BE A LOT OF FUN?
Since no one had “the” sex conversation with me, I’m not sure I even knew what it was. The first time I had sex, I got pregnant, so it reinforced that the “good girl” route was safer. Fortunately, my first husband put that myth to rest. Since I’ve been on both sides of the good girl-bad girl fence, even if you’re a conservative, lights out, with your nighty on kind of girl, I believe there’s a lot of validity to 5 Seconds of Summer’s fun song, Good Girls Are Bad Girls That Haven’t Been Caught. Where are you on the good girl-bad girl sexuality scale? Are you happy with where you are, or are there some changes you’d like to make?
If you’re starting over with a new partner, you can be whoever you want from the outset. No history. No preconceived notions. If you’ve been in a longtime, conservative sexual relationship, and you’d like to bump it up a notch, or two, or three, you may be uncomfortable initiating the conversation. Don’t get discouraged. Men are easily led down the garden path, so you can steer the moment into anything you want it to be. No conversation necessary. You just need the confidence and determination to do it.
“YOU’RE THE ONLY NAKED WOMAN IN THE ROOM. HE’S GOING TO LOVE YOU!” —OPRAH WINFREY