Dear Brittany & Jessie, Part of me wants to say you’re rude and shallow, while another part of me thinks the difficulty our culture has with aging is because of people like you. Who are you to mock the way Sarah Jessica Parker looked at Monday night’s Met Gala with mean girl tweets like “she is aging faster than spoiled Greek yogurt,” “horses have a life span of 20-30 years so she is definitely blessed to still be with us” and “she’s aging like a bad raisin”?
Has it even occurred to you that you’ve shamed all women for the privilege of living and breathing and getting older?
I’ve taken a look at your Twitter accounts. When you’re not tweeting cruel remarks about an accomplished woman like Ms. Parker, you’re retweeting things like “you dumbass bitch.” Have you no concept of the idea that we… EVERY WOMAN… need to lift one another up and support one another with respect, and that begins with self-respect? Do you understand that age and looks have no bearing on whether a woman is beautiful, valued or loved? Does your self-esteem come from anything other than tearing others down?
Am I happy about looking older? No! Am I happy I’m still here? Oh my stars, yes! I’m grateful beyond measure. Next month I’ll be 69-years-old, and in light of 10 breast cancer surgeries and eight rounds of chemo, there were many days I wondered if I’d be here to see this birthday.
Would I ever have a facelift? No, but if my friend wants one, I will be—and have been—by her side, changing her cold compresses and supporting her all the way. Am I tempted to do Botox? You betcha, often, but since I’m deathly allergic to so many things, I haven’t gotten the courage to try it… yet.
I believe the way we see the world and react to those around us is a reflection of how we see ourselves.
I fear this means you have no compassion for yourselves. If you can find a way to look inward, perhaps you can learn to forgive and work on those things you don’t like about yourselves. In the process you may discover an infinite capacity to encourage, empower and help other women in ways you couldn’t imagine. That’s when the real, tweet-worthy magic happens! Then you’ll be able to let the goodness of your hearts be your guide and embrace all women. I sincerely wish this for both of you.
PS: For anyone who’s wondering… Brittany and Jessie and their tweets are real. It occurred to me this blog post ties into Kim Alexis’s post last week, “Do You Struggle With How You Look?”