— Relationships —

Letter to a friend

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Dear Friend,
Yes, I do know how you feel. I have had mornings when I woke up and thought, “I am getting up because?” and there was no answer. A vague empty, ‘what am I doing this all for’ feeling. Menopause and aging have something to do with it. Family and relationships have something to do with it. But most of all, I have to do with it.

The things I thought were so important are not as—or not at all—and I am redefining everything, particularly myself.

Getting ahead in a job, the go-getter, more money mentality has been replaced by “I just want some peace and to put food on the table. I don’t want a Mercedes-Benz or a trip to Paris. I’ll take a Netflix movie and a turkey on wheat, please.”

The family circus is replaced by, “I love you. You are in control of your own life, and I can’t fix it, make it right, or change it. I don’t even want to. I love you. If you need other help, I suggest you start with yourself.”

Our self-image changes. I am slowly and surely becoming less an object of men’s desires, and although part of me misses the attention, I am actually beginning to like it. I am more concerned with my outlook than how I look. My women friends are becoming more important, and I’m sorry it took so long.”

Relationship with our significant other: “Dear love of my life, I have a brain, a heart, as well as two breasts and a vagina. They all like attention, but if the brain and heart come second, the other two will not function properly, or at all. And just in case you hadn’t noticed, I now sometimes define pleasure as sipping coffee on the back porch, watching the sunset, the birds and the grass grow. With you.”

We are also facing our physical mortality. The knowledge of death is the blanket in which we wrap our life. Spiritually, we have all to come to terms with this in our own way. There is great beauty, pain and wonder in this journey.

There are no easy answers. I just want you to know that I’m a traveler, like you. I have my good days and bad days, and if you want to share either of them with someone, I’m here.



  • Linda August 21, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    I enjoyed this very much. Thank you

  • Chicatanyage August 22, 2015 at 7:41 am

    I also really enjoyed this and found it very poignant and moving.

  • Meg Root August 24, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    Favorite quote: “I am more concerned with my outlook than how I look.” A powerful piece for mid-life women, I take that back–for all women!

  • Haralee August 24, 2015 at 4:51 pm

    How lovely!!!

  • Alana Mautone August 24, 2015 at 5:49 pm

    What a true saying “The knowledge of death is the blanket in which we wrap our life.”. The presence of death, in those I know, seems to be all too common lately.

  • mamavalveeta03 August 28, 2015 at 12:20 pm

    Thanks for understanding me, unseen friend.

  • Katherines Corner September 7, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    My recent health challenges have me thinking a lot about mortality Orinda .”The knowledge of death is the blanket in which we wrap our life.” is a beautiful and profound testament that we are here for a short time..Thank you for sharing at The Thursday Favorite Things blog Hop. Hugs!♥

  • Suzanne Levy October 24, 2015 at 7:46 am

    live in the moment…look for beauty in random places that perhaps, only you can see. count your blessings…sip more coffee and watch as many sunsets as you can. we have but one life to live…

  • Donna O'Klock October 6, 2016 at 10:04 am

    This touched me deeply this morning. Beautifully said.

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