When I was married I leaned on my husband for friendship and support and asked his opinion on almost everything whether it was a problem with the kids, or work. I went to him first for his input. My girlfriends were always there and important but not the ones I went to first or listened to the most. Then I got divorced. What a change for me! For awhile, I would call my ex-husband and ask him for his opinion on things like changing the tires or what good movies were playing.
I had a hard time letting go and finding me.
Slowly I realized I needed to make my own way and find friends who had my best interest. I still spoke to girlfriends who lived far away–they were always there for me–but I needed women who lived where I lived. After I divorced, I moved to Denver and stayed with my oldest son for 6 weeks while I got on my feet. Would you believe I then moved to a town where I didn’t know anyone?
I moved into my wonderful little house on a warm sunny day. It was December 1st, and all was well. The next morning I woke up to the threat of a huge snow storm that would last for days. My car wasn’t ready for snow and had rear wheel drive; a huge “no-no” if you want to be safe, driving in Colorado. I survived the snow storm, lonely but safe. I was grateful for the little things.
I remember feeling so alone and isolated, wondering what I had done? A smile from the mail lady made my day! I started to venture out, looking for what I wanted to do. I found a church and went by myself; something I had never done before. I always had kids or a husband who went with me. Now the kids were grown, and the husband was gone. I prayed for a new best girlfriend. It seemed like a stretch, and it didn’t happen immediately. I waited for months and stayed on the lookout. Soon, God gave me the women who have become my closest friends. I also had one of my “before divorce” girlfriends move to my town, and she’s been a huge blessing and support for me.
At some point, I decided to start a girls night, once a month at my house. We met at Christmas time, gathering to make cookies. It was so much fun, that we decided to meet once a month and do a craft like painting. So many great things have come out of those gatherings! I am realizing the wonderful gift of female friendship. They can hear any problem, laugh with me and share my pain. They bring healthy encouragement to my life, and I am forever grateful.
If you feel lonely, ask for a friend and hopefully, soon, you will realize that women friends rock!