After last week’s blog about my first date since my husband died, women emailed me about their online dating experiences. One woman was waiting at the restaurant but instead of showing up, her date texted her a photo of his penis. Another guy needed to borrow money to pay off his soon-to-be ex-wife. Another loser tried to feel her up in the restaurant after they’d just met. It sounds as though a lot of men look at online dating like it’s an escort service.
Guys… Working little brains are great things, but may I suggest some of you buy a life-size sex doll and stay home?
A man I know was diagnosed with prostate cancer and chose not to receive treatment because it could result in sexual impotency and/or incontinence. Before he died, I wonder how his family felt, knowing he chose orgasms over a life with them?
When I was treated for breast cancer, no one told me my sex life—as I knew it—was over. I’m angrier about that than I am that the tissues of my vagina are paper thin and a penetrating penis feels like I’ve been stuck with a knife blade. Even if I’d been as well-informed as men facing prostate cancer treatment are, I would have made the same choice: a life that could be cancer free over vaginal intercourse.
As my “situation” became increasingly clear, I talked with my oncologist, who now says he told me AND my husband I could use topical estrogen cream. I PROMISE YOU HE DID NOT! We tried every lubricant, supposed safe estrogen alternative and vaginal dilator without success. Because of my Top Breast Cancer Blog/Site BreastCancerSisterhood.com, I was aware that millions of couples, because of cancer or menopause, were facing the same thing. A few years ago, I delved deeper, hoping to solve the problem.
I did a thorough patent search, spoke with oncologists and gynecologists at MD Anderson and met with some of the best chemists, skincare formulators and manufactures in the country. My journey even led me to Beverly Hills and the woman who turned Neutrogena around in the ’80’s and ’90’s by expanding their product line to include shampoos and better skin care products. Like me she was a breast cancer survivor who’d tried to develop a safer, more effective alternative for dry vaginal tissues and painful sex.
I learned about preservatives, how ingredients can enhance one another, even the Food and Drug Administration’s (FDA) strict controls on nozzles used to fill empty containers with product. Just when I thought I’d found a way to moisturize women’s dry and withered vaginal tissues, the FDA stepped in and crushed my juicy idea.
For starters, few product formulators and manufacturers want to get involved with anything that might have FDA implications like “internal usage” or products related to health or make health claims. Eventually I got into an ongoing and detailed conversation with the FDA. (Not my first. I was one of the people who invented and developed the smokeless cigarette.)
The FDA defines a “personal moisturizer” as “intended to affect the structure or function of the body,” and such a product must go through years of study, clinical trials and FDA investigation. It can take hundreds of millions of dollars for researchers, chemists and attorneys to see it to the end which may, or may not, result in bringing the product to market. Understanding that long road all too well, I abandoned my quest, but I learned a lot about skin care products.
Did you know what may look like name brand American skin care products could be counterfeits made in China? Because China doesn’t have strict regulations about what goes into their consumer products, many contain mercury, lead, arsenic, cyanide, even human urine and rat droppings. These products can lead to severe allergic reactions, burns, disfigurement, high blood pressure and infertility.
Beware of “cheap makeup and skin care products” you buy online, on the street and at flea markets that sound too good to be true. They’re probably Chinese counterfeits. I wouldn’t use Chinese skincare products for all the tea and orgasms in China.