— Life —

TALENTED AND EXPENSIVE FEET

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The podiatrist says age and gravity are having their way with my feet. The toes on my right foot have begun to curve backward toward the sole of my foot—hammertoes—so the end of my poor middle toe is bearing the weight when I walk. As a result I’ve developed a callus on the bottom of that toe, which I tried to trim, but it only made matters worse. When I asked the doctor what the little dot in the center is—thinking it’s a “core” of some sort, like with a corn—he said it’s my bone.

Egads!

When I was in elementary school the neighbor lady thought my toes were long enough to be fingers and frequently said my feet were beautiful and graceful. Each time my mother corrected her and said, “No, they’re just expensive.”

My feet are crazy skinny! I wear a size 9.5 with a 6A heel. There are only a couple of brands that make shoes that narrow, and they’re Italian and expensive. No cute, trendy shoes for me and shoes on sale? It’s easier to find an albino, baby elephant than a pair of shoes narrow enough so I don’t walk right out of them.

James had skinny feet as well. He once said if we’d had children, they would have had ice skate blades for feet. He told me about a woman, we both knew, who was vain about her feet. She thought they were pretty. I’ve seen her feet. I’m not sure whose feet she was comparing them to, but the only women of a certain age I’ve seen with really pretty feet are foot models.

Did you know the most sought after foot models need to have more than pretty feet? Their feet need to be able to “flirt” with the camera, as in… They need to look like “they’ve just been tickled, or they’re excited.” In other words, their feet need to imagine someone or something—other than age and gravity—is having their way with them. Those are some talented feet, which reminds me…

In my 20’s, I had a friend who was a madam. Yes, I know you’re wondering how we met, but that’s another blog… or two. She was one of the smartest, most well-read people I’ve known, not to mention a natural blonde beauty who was also cross-eyed. It made for an irresistible combination for politicians, celebrities and wealthy men. You think I have good stories? You should have heard hers.

Sometimes my first husband and I would meet her and her husband somewhere fun and catchup. One year they met us at the Ocean Club on Paradise Island. While the guys went off to rent motors scooters, she and I sat by the pool while she told me stories about her clients.

One well-known guy paid her $500 every time she unzipped her boots and took them off and another $500 every time she put them back on and zipped them back up. He never touched her. Now she had expensive feet. She also had an artful way with words, so much so that all the waiters were hiding in the bougainvillea behind us, hanging on her every word. No wonder our Piña Colada’s were slow in coming…

Love, Brenda

24 Comments

  • Jane August 5, 2017 at 6:12 am

    Well, this was a bit of a tease…can’t wait to hear more.

    I have very narrow feet my dear,,,.and your Mother was right. I have also been having trouble with them and have had a foot surgery.. My husband wants to walk the last 100 km of The Way in Spain next year, but I am afraid these expensive feet can’t endure it. janey

    • 1010ParkPlace August 6, 2017 at 8:31 am

      Definitely build up to that kind of a walk and wear smart shoes you’ve been wearing on those walks leading up to the BIG WALK. Have you seen a podiatrist? Probably have if you’ve had foot surgery. I’ve been wearing custom inserts for the last four years. They’ve helped tremendously. They’re also ready for the trash bin, so he’s making me a new pair. I’m going to Italy next month and don’t want my feet to fail me. Maybe I should write next week’s blog about shoes and inserts and another one of my friend’s stories. Thanks for the idea, Jane!

  • Nancee August 5, 2017 at 8:26 am

    Looking forward to more stories about your madam friend!

    • 1010ParkPlace August 6, 2017 at 8:33 am

      LOL! Most of her stories I can’t repeat, certainly not in this forum! I’ll see if I can find a way to make them a little tamer. Thanks, Nancee!

  • Karen M Patten August 5, 2017 at 9:08 am

    Expensive indeed! I had no idea that the feet of foot models had to be so talented! Would love to hear more about your friendship with the Madame 🙂

    • 1010ParkPlace August 6, 2017 at 8:35 am

      The Madame… Wish I could share photos and stories. I’ll see if I can make some less x-rated. Thanks, Karen!

  • Susan August 5, 2017 at 9:17 am

    I can relate. I think my feet are more narrow than yours and they just don’t make narrow shoes anymore. Please please tell me where you buy your shoes!
    I am almost having to go barefoot and always slipping out of my shoes!

    • 1010ParkPlace August 6, 2017 at 8:37 am

      Hi Susan! Feet skinnier than 6AAAAAA? Woah! I’ve had a lot of response, regarding this post, so next week I’ll write about ways to be nice to your feet, where I buy my shoes and another one of my friend’s stories. Thanks! Brenda

  • Mamavalveeta03 August 5, 2017 at 10:14 am

    I wish I could’ve been a fly on the wall! 😉

    • 1010ParkPlace August 6, 2017 at 8:39 am

      LOL! The waiters were so embarrassed when we heard them, then turned around and saw them all clustered together in the bushes behind us. Like little kids… excited little kids!

  • Rena August 5, 2017 at 11:20 am

    I’d love to hear THOSE stories! You know the most interesting people. I have RA so my toes are very sensitive to touch and the feel of shoes. It’s only sneakers for me most of the time, but I have pretty average feet…I think!

    • 1010ParkPlace August 6, 2017 at 8:42 am

      Sneakers and flats with my inserts are all I can wear anymore. Since my hammertoe has been so sore, I have a sense of what you’re dealing with. I’m going to write another post next week about feet and shoes and things that may help. xoxox, Brenda

  • Anonymous August 5, 2017 at 11:34 am

    I think I have the ugliest feet ever. Broken foot and toe bones do not age well, making matters worse. I know I need surgery but don’t want to do it.
    My youngest daughter Jillian at 5, announced she had the most beautiful feet in the world. Just like the little mermaid. (She did turn into a human lol)
    I really hope you share some of those stories!

    • 1010ParkPlace August 6, 2017 at 8:46 am

      Hi Doreen, Feet are the workhorses of our body. Just remember there aren’t many people who have pretty feet. Hammertoe surgery may be in my future at some point, so I hear you about not wanting to do it. I’ve had way too many as it is! I’m writing another post next week about feet and madam stories… if I can make them ready for prime time. xoxox, Brenda

  • Diane August 5, 2017 at 11:35 am

    Where’s HER blog?!
    My feet aren’t expensive. Just sore. 🙁

    • 1010ParkPlace August 6, 2017 at 8:47 am

      LOL! That’s funny! Read next week. I’m writing about feet again, and will throw in another one of her stories. Thanks, Brenda

  • Doreen McGettigan August 5, 2017 at 11:35 am

    I didn’t mean to be anonymous.

    • 1010ParkPlace August 6, 2017 at 8:48 am

      You could never be anonymous my friend! xoxox, Brenda

  • Tara Dillard August 9, 2017 at 7:35 am

    Want all about Madam.

    Oddly, I think this is the first xray of feet I’ve seen. Didn’t realize how far toe bones go into the arch. Sorry you are having issues, hope resolved soon.

    After Beloved made his intentions known toward me I asked him much later, “When did you first desire me?” He said, “Remember when you were driving and we went to the Smiths to start their project? I saw your toes.” Told him, “You didn’t see my toes, I was wearing ballet flats, you saw only toe cleavage.”.

    Poor man, my toe cleavage is costing him plenty.

    Garden & Be Well, XO T

    • Brenda Coffee August 9, 2017 at 7:33 pm

      Men… So predictable! Please don’t tell him I said that… xoxox, Brenda

  • noreen August 9, 2017 at 9:51 am

    Well, we all seem to have feet stories in our family! I’ve been wearing Doc Price sneakers with custom fitted inserts, they work like a dream. You may want to check them out, designed by a german foot doctor!

    • Brenda Coffee August 9, 2017 at 7:34 pm

      Doc Price sneakers… I’m on it! Thanks, Noreen!

  • Anon August 20, 2017 at 12:01 pm

    There’s always bespoke, custom, made-to-measure.

    https://poppybarley.com/magazine/poppy-barley-made-to-measure/

    • Brenda Coffee August 20, 2017 at 2:28 pm

      I’ll take a look! Thanks, Brenda

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