For two hours, I’ve been trying to get to my desk to work on my book, but first, there were things that had to be done. I walk around the house, barefoot, most of the time, so I can feel when the floor is dirty more than I can see it on this espresso-colored wood. This morning I felt it was particularly crumby from last night’s cornbread, so I had to sweep. And, I couldn’t leave the breakfast dishes in the sink, so I had do them, and the bed… Usually I make it the minute I get out of it, but this morning I needed coffee more than I needed a neat bed. Now I’m rushing to accomplish everything so I can sit down and write.
“What would happen if you just left that stuff until later,” you ask? Well, nothing, except I know I can’t–insert ‘won’t‘–do that. I’d worry about what was undone.
You know that nagging feeling when you leave the house: “Did I leave the iron on?” No, bad example. Who irons anymore? Okay, the small voice that haunts you: “Did I lock the door; remember to feed the cat; close the garage door, or lock the back gate so the dog won’t get out, again?” Yes! That voice would bother me the whole time, distracting me until I got up and checked to make sure I did them.
I also leave my home in immaculate condition when I go on vacation. God forbid I should pass-away… I’d hate to have the people settling my affairs thinking I was a slob. I know I’d be beyond caring in the afterlife, but until that time comes…
There’s a certain amount of chaos and disorder each of us can tolerate, and I’ve learned my threshold doesn’t include an unmade bed, a filthy floor, and a sinkful of dirty dishes. I’d never be able to lose myself in my imagination. However, a hundred sticky notes all over my desk can easily be ignored. Go figure!
I looked up the definition of compulsive behavior. The good news: Monk is OCD. I’m not. The bad news: It turns out I may have anal-retentive behavior. Am I going to let this bother me? Not in the least. I’ll put a positive spin on it and proudly proclaim I’m a highly detail-oriented woman. How about you?