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— Life —

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People always ask whether to use heat or ice, and the honest answer is, for the most part, it really doesn’t matter. Neither is going to ruin the opportunity to heal or have a major effect on the outcome.

For most conditions, it’s about what feels best. Especially when it comes to chronic conditions, like arthritis, bursitis or tendonitis.

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Fear dictates our feelings about a great many things, especially death and dying. Death is something we try to outrun our entire lives, but because we don’t keep our end time in sight, many of us don’t live our best lives.

I’ve already realized my biggest fears—my two husbands died and I’ve had cancer—so death holds no fear for me.

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I love lemons, but not long ago I squeezed one so hard it ripped the inside of my thumb. How did I not know you’re supposed to roll tough lemons before cutting and squeezing them? While recuperating from surgery I reflected on the various accidents I’ve had over the years.

I was surprised at how many could be attributed to rushing, including this one.

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PHOTOGRAPH ©BRENDA COFFEE, 2018
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Over margaritas and quesadillas my girlfriends and I reflected on some of the difficult times in our lives. Referring to a particularly stressful time one of my friends matter-of-factly stated she’d “lost her glue,” to which I replied, “I can identify. My glue died,” referring to my husband, James. While our individual stories prompt serious conversation, the real question for all of us—at one time or another—is how do we change what’s not working in our lives?

How do we get our mojo back? More importantly, how do we become our own glue?

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Photograph via Firmdale Hotels
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How many of you’ve had high tea at the Whitby Hotel in New York City? If you’ve never been, put it on your list of things to do the next time you’re in the city. Many of the patrons are familiar faces who’re uber chic and discreetly seated at corner tables. Since my lunch date had to cancel, I went alone and incognito as my fashion icon, Rene Russo’s character in The Thomas Crown Affair.

Many women wouldn’t dream of going somewhere, alone, especially someplace chichi like high tea at the Whitby, but go girlfriends!

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Occasionally I have the privilege of speaking to a group of women, from professionals to young mothers. In the coming weeks I have three such engagements, and from my long list of topics, they all chose the same one: “When Good is Never Enough.”

It’s one of my most requested presentations because women battle perfectionism, daily, no matter what their stage of life.

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For the first time in months I’m warm without triple-layers, mittens, and shearling boots. I’m barefoot. My legs are freshly shaved. I’ve met our zany neighbors… I’m one happy camper!

We are in Bisbee, Arizona, a place we knew nothing about two weeks ago. The drive here from Santa Fe led us south to the U.S./Mexico border, through miles of beautiful desert, an oasis in the San Bernardino Valley and back up into the mountains. Continue Reading

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Instead of taking advantage of the holiday sales, I spent my “Christmas money” on a trip to the cardiologist for a nuclear stress test. As the treadmill speeded up and the incline became steeper, the goal was to see how long it took my heart to reach 129 beats a minutes. It took 9.8 minutes, which statistically speaking, means I have the stats of a 28-year-old female. That’s incredible because statistically women my age—68—reach a heart rate of 129 beats a minute in only 3.2 minutes.

While that’s great news, I still don’t know what caused me to almost pass out in Neiman Marcus.

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If you’ve been reading my posts you know I often base my recommendations on the basis of how I earn a living. If I see a pattern which results in injury, I try to recommend ways to prevent them.

Frankly I should be promoting sports, boot camps and extreme strength training programs. They’ve created a huge business for surgeons. They provide patients ripe for the picking! I should promote the decorating of houses for Christmas, because ladder injuries deliver a sweet financial boost just before year end.

What about the number one New Year’s Resolution? How could there be any harm there?

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